Fronting the Cheese Man
Tomorrow I have to go to this study group with my lab partners in crime, no Biology and figure out what the hell the teacher wants from us in the lab report. I'm hoping they have something to bring to the table... but that hoping goes with a smirk. They think that I'm super-student with all the answers right on the quizes and always on top of things. I'm too freakin' busy to try to do my homework. I was going to work on it over the weekend but I need to get my shit together before tomorrow so that I will know a little of what we are supposed to do. I have more important matters at hand - like my boogers to be picked.
Yesterday, I got home around 6pm all grouchy as hell and put my key in the door, opened the door and tried to yank the key out of the lock. The lock has been acting up lately so I have to sit there for 10 minutes jiggling the key, willing the little bars inside to go into place so I can finally pass out in my lovely bed. Last night I was pissy and tired so I thought wtf, I'll just grab some pliers and twist the motherfucka out! Who the missed out on telling me that keys are really breakable. I thought keys were indestructable and in no way would they ever break, melt, sink, or die. I twisted it and the top broke off and the rest of the key is still inside of the lock. The landlord is notoriously not ever around - potsmoker, enough said. I tried calling him and leaving sweet messages but no answer. Plus I wanted to go to bed and fall into sweet sleep then worrying about some rapist coming in, stealing my laptop and my 7 month stint of being a born-again virgin and then leave without a phone number. So I passed out and woke up 12 hours later to head to school. My door is unlocked for now until I have time to hunt down my landlord and drag him to my apartment to change the lock (I am unauthorized to change it myself).
Theres also this possum that is hanging around my porch, incidentally I live on the second floor so I don't know how a blind fat-ass rat could/would climb up the stairs to my front door and snuggle up against it. At first I hated this thing - scaring the shit out of me at 1 am and making it so that I have to go around him to get inside my apartment. However, now I see the benefit of him keeping robbers, gangster hit-men, and former stalker boyfriends away from me residence. How does he keep these people away you ask? I don't think you understand the complexity of how ugly possums are. What god would create such an atrocious animal - maybe thats why they're blind so they can't tell they look so hideous. If they weren't blind, I'm sure we'd see a bunch of dead possums everywhere because they would have committed suicide as soon as they found out they were man-handled by satans asshole and spit back out.
Yesterday, I got home around 6pm all grouchy as hell and put my key in the door, opened the door and tried to yank the key out of the lock. The lock has been acting up lately so I have to sit there for 10 minutes jiggling the key, willing the little bars inside to go into place so I can finally pass out in my lovely bed. Last night I was pissy and tired so I thought wtf, I'll just grab some pliers and twist the motherfucka out! Who the missed out on telling me that keys are really breakable. I thought keys were indestructable and in no way would they ever break, melt, sink, or die. I twisted it and the top broke off and the rest of the key is still inside of the lock. The landlord is notoriously not ever around - potsmoker, enough said. I tried calling him and leaving sweet messages but no answer. Plus I wanted to go to bed and fall into sweet sleep then worrying about some rapist coming in, stealing my laptop and my 7 month stint of being a born-again virgin and then leave without a phone number. So I passed out and woke up 12 hours later to head to school. My door is unlocked for now until I have time to hunt down my landlord and drag him to my apartment to change the lock (I am unauthorized to change it myself).
Theres also this possum that is hanging around my porch, incidentally I live on the second floor so I don't know how a blind fat-ass rat could/would climb up the stairs to my front door and snuggle up against it. At first I hated this thing - scaring the shit out of me at 1 am and making it so that I have to go around him to get inside my apartment. However, now I see the benefit of him keeping robbers, gangster hit-men, and former stalker boyfriends away from me residence. How does he keep these people away you ask? I don't think you understand the complexity of how ugly possums are. What god would create such an atrocious animal - maybe thats why they're blind so they can't tell they look so hideous. If they weren't blind, I'm sure we'd see a bunch of dead possums everywhere because they would have committed suicide as soon as they found out they were man-handled by satans asshole and spit back out.
posted by Maroo at 9:00 AM
1 Comments:
Hmm, I just realized my grammatical errors - can't spell worth shit. Blah
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