I thought this photo was cool - only because its my profile and I love this side of my face. Seriously, I have a big ego.

I took my physics test and I predict low 50 score. I'm a little dissapointed but if I don't put in the time to study I shouldn't be all that sad.

I emailed my supplemental teacher yesterday:

Noah.

I can't make it on Friday, could I substitute tomorrow's supplemental for Friday's... I'll bring a cookie. If you don't receive this email I'll know by the surprised gasp I get from you, by showing up tomorrow. As I mentioned before, I will be drinking heavily tonight to try to forget my new-found knowledge that I am retarded (as proved by this physics test) - so if you receive the same email later tonight, but with misspelled words, just ignore it.

M. Wells

and he wrote back:

I got your email this time. You can substitue a class anytime you needto. I enjoy all types of cookies as long as they are devoid of raisins. See ya. Noah.

He is so cute. Too bad he has a girlfriend... doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him though.

I am still working toward getting a car... It's not working out so swell. The dealership lady said that I should try to get another cosigner. Right, my dad said Tough shit when I needed a cosigner for my apartment. Not cool. So I'm shit out of luck until I save up enough money for a car from my job. Which means more depressed times at the apartment. I wish I could stay away from the apartment only when I need to sleep or change my clothes.

So one night at work, I was sitting there as usual in my office with nothing to do. I made a short term goal list.

1. Get down to 140 pounds.
2. Stop drinking diet pepsi.
3. Get in to cute-guy-in-chemistry-class's pants.
4. Buy a car
5. Pass all classes.

I made up a plan for each of them... they all seem doable but the car one isn't going to get done until I've worked for a while. Yes, thats right people... I'm not even setting my sights on world peace. Thats where my long term goal list comes in. This list will have 100 items on it and it will be a working progress. I still have to start it too.

I didn't get the truck! Apparently my mother is a bad cosigner. She has to have a score of at least 650 on her credit and she is totally not around that number. I think that I have to just save up money for a car. In about 2 or 3 months I should have enough to buy one. I have to walk to work everyday... bummer because it rains a shit load around here. It takes me an hour to walk to work.

I have a physics test today and I was freaking out about it all week, but now not so much. The test is at 3 and I'm skipping class to study - or keep writing in my blog. I need to stop this procastinating stuff and do well in my classes.

5 things I really hate right now:

1. NCIS isn't on every night of the week
2. I have horrible study habits
3. Both of my boy crushes don't know I exist (I'm going to start sleeping with the homeless guys down the street if I don't get action soon)
4. Mom has crappy credit.
5. I don't get enough sleep.

So I just got this job. I work security at a low-income apartment complex, and I get to wear my own clothes (I like this because I hate uniforms). The bad thing about this is that I walk around the place with no weapons of any form, telling people not to do stuff. Who's going to listen to me? Mostly I'm a watchman. I told my dad that and he asked, "What do you watch?" I said, "Crackheads." Basically thats who lives at this place.

Most of the time I sit in "the shop" and do homework, read, or space out. I convinced my dad to give me a loan for a down for a truck and my mom to cosign for me. Shitty thing is, I have to pay full coverage for insurance! I don't know if I can afford that.

I will have a pic of my truck when I get it.

I think that my roommate is about to tell me that she is moving out in November. At least, thats what the signs say. About 3 years ago she was living with her best friend Kristen, Kristen's boyfriend, and Kristen's boyfriend's friend Lee. It was a cool house but Andrea didn't like the environment - Kristen and said boyfriend Adam would always bicker. I was living at the dorms at the time and Andrea would always come to visit me... and stay as late as possible. Pretty soon she decided to move into the dorms. She decided it a month before she was going to move in, but only told her best friend that she was moving out 1 1/2 weeks before she actually moved out.

Kristen was pissed because she then had the problem of finding another person to pay the 1/4 of the rent that was due in 1 1/2 weeks. I believe my roommate will stiff me just like she did with kristen. I haven't been too horrible to her that she needs to stay out but she hasn't stayed in her room for 3 nights now. At first I was worried - I need her right now because I don't have enough money to pay another deposit or a one-bedroom rent until I find a job. then I figured that I can use this as an excuse that I have to move back in with mother. I will have to commute and I think that my mom will help me out with that. She'll let me borrow her car 2 days out of the week to drive here. Or, I have to call up my dad and tell him that I have to quit school because I can't commute from mom's house. He'll have to pull out my "emergency college money fund" and buy me a car!

The great thing about it all is that I don't have to deal with Andrea anymore. She can live happily being a drunken slut here and I can live blissfully with my mother forever... thats how God would have wanted it.

The only flaws I see in this plan are: Andrea wants to stick it out and keep on living with me, Mom won't let me use her car to commute to HSU (I'll have to quit school, unless Daddy helps), and the last flaw, Dad won't help.

I really don't mind quiting school and finding a job to work until next fall, but I'm doing so well in these classes and I don't want to take them over again. Blah! So, hopefully I can work it all out.

Okay, so all my procastinating has gotten me a 73 percent on the chemistry test I was whining about. My lab partner had only a 67 percent. I am in a competition with him so I feel a whole lot better when I found out that I still have a better score than him. It isn't good for my grade to compete against losers like my friends who don't care about their test scores. I don't have the motivation to beat a 68 percent - I could get that without studying (apparently, because of the 73 percent).

Now physics test #2 is coming up next week and I need to start studying now so that when it comes down to test day I won't be so overwhelmed with crap that I shrug and say owell. Since I lost my inspiration for getting a fabulous grade in physics (i.e. supplemental teacher has a girlfriend) I have to dig deep into my brain and fake my body into having enough excitement and energy to read the damn book! Sidenote: Supplemental teacher frequents the class every once in a while, and yesterday I walked into class and he was wearing calf high socks, tennis shoes, with khaki cargo shorts. I'm really not an aficionado on clothes but I do live by some standard, and supp. teacher lost 50 points in my coolbook for wearing such an outfit. Everybody knows to wear some sort of sandal with cargo shorts!

I started a new workout regime. 1 1/2 hours of cardio everyday Mon-Fri. I will see where this leads. I'm hoping to be so tired at night that my insomnia goes away and lose my baby fat. Today I ran 2 miles, 20 minutes of jump rope, and 30 minutes of stairclimber. by the end I was covered in sweat. I drank 30 ounces of water right after and my body soaked it up instantly and it said a big "AAAAhhhh"

I just heard on the radio that to be in better mental health, one should participate in the art of writing for at least 20 minutes each day. I suppose that means if I want to be one step up from insane I should blog everyday. Good idea radio.

I'm actually using this to procastinate. I have a chemsitry test tomorrow and I designated today as Chemistry Study Day! No interruptions. I will learn all I need to know that will get me an A on the test. Alas, I have lost my enthusiasm from last night. I have slumped to the library and spread all my chemistry material (book, paper, pen, calculator, deflated brain) and decided to enjoy my drink of life without associating with chemistry.

I'm really digging a song by Maroon 5 right now; No!, I haven't turned to stupid boy bands. I don't like Maroon 5 but track 9 on their cd is very calming - at least the first part. I don't know what its called, and I don't want to. I was trying to find a computer program somewhere, so that I could burn the any song into it and take out the lyrics. Track 9 would be too awesome without the lyrics. This song was played on a movie called the Wedding Date, when "Red" was seducing Dylan McDermot. *wipes slobber from chin* That man is so sexy.

I am a biology major because I like science and finding out new things. But lately, I'm hating it. Mostly because I don't care about how to balance a formula using a half reaction method. I loathe oxidation numbers. I watch CSI - don't worry it still connects to the rest of the paragraph - I especially like NCSI. the reason is because there is a lab rat gothic girl who is involved on the NCSI team. She is my inspiration right now. I want to be able to do what she does. So now I when I'm studying for chemistry, I'll pretend to have black lipstick and my hair in ponytails (I couldn't actually turn gothic, it would ruin the reputation I hold so dear).

I have to cut my study session short because I'm on an intramural volleyball team and we play tonight from 7 to 9. Our team is called Pancakes and we can beat everybody's elses team except this one called Roadkill. They have 3 really tall men and I couldn't even tip it over their arms let alone spike over. I think we play them again tonight... blah! I'll vent on the court. toodles

It is the weekend and I don't have any new news, as usual. My life is focused on my classes at the moment. I would like to share a joke my friend told me a while ago. Its best told in the first person...

One day me, and my friends Ivette and Cristel were driving to Portland and we got in this huge car wreck. We didn't make it and died. We saw the pearly gates and were pretty happy though. Then we met God, we were very awestruck. He went over this long list of rules about heaven and then he said "Now let me take you on a tour." He started walking but stopped abruptly, "Oh, a side note, if you ever see a pink cloud, don't step on it." I asked Why? He said "Trust me, just don't step on it."

After getting used to heaven me and my friends had our own hangout. One time, Cristel and I were sitting and talking when Ivette started walking toward us with this really ugly boyfriend. When she reached us I asked, "Ivette how did you get such an ugly boyfriend?" She said, "I stepped on a pink cloud." Wow

The next day Ivette, her boyfriend and I were hanging out and Cristel was walking toward us with an even uglier boyfriend. When she reach us I asked, "Pink cloud?" She looked down and said yes. I said, "Whoa, I need to keep my eye out for these freakin' pink clouds."

The next day, I was walking to the hangout with a very handsome boyfriend and when I reached my friends they asked, "How did you get such a beautiful boyfriend?" My boyfriend started sobbing loudly and said, "I stepped on a pink cloud!"

This will be my last blog entry about my endeavor to sleep with my supplemental teacher. He, has in fact, a girlfriend. All hope for my physics grade is lost. I have no one to impress with my grand knowledge of physics. I will of course still try my best to pass the class, but now my motivation is null. Most people would say, "Still go after him." But once a girlfriend is in the picture, I throw in my hand. I saw him with his cute blondie, holding hands the day before class. He saw me on campus twice, and I skipped his class. Not to teach him a lesson... its because I have no reason to go to his class because I already know everything he has to say - really there is no point. I used to go for the view; now that view has been tainted. He is no longer the good physics grad student I envisioned him to be. The end of Noah.

I've said it before but I have to again. I love this online game annagrammatic. Its practically like scrabble with a time clock, and everybody knows how much I like scrabble. I need a car because there is a scrabble club in this town, a 5 minute drive away from me. They meet on Sunday at 6 o'clock. I really really want to go. So then I was thinking that I should just start a club at the school. But who would join. I need at least 10 people to sign up for this club in order to start it and I really don't like rejection, so I will just hope there is some brave soul out there that will start one. I'm such a nerd.

I am going to walk to Rays to pick up a diet pepsi. My bottle of liquid life will boost my morale.

My roommate asked if I wanted to get different living arrangements. I asked why and she said “Because I feel awkward being here when your depressed and I try to find places to go so that I don’t have to be here.” Her eyes were welling up and I was in shock because I don’t know how to deal with emotional chicks. I told her that she should just confront me if she’s having problems. I actually act depressed when she’s around so that she doesn’t ask me to go places with her. So now I have to cut that out and I’m happy perky stella toward her.

The picture up top is me and my roommate during the happy times. We were at a bowling alley. I'm the one with my tongue hanging out.

Today she asked me if I wanted to go to a bar with her tonight. Normally I would be excited, but the idea of being around her drunken self made me shiver. I said “I don’t have any money.” She said that I could just hang out. I said, “I have to get up early tomorrow.” Which I do, but that hasn’t stopped me drinking before. Now I have to resort to lying to her.

I have come to think of it as a chess game. I never liked chess but I will be accustomed to it soon. I need to get her into checkmate somehow. I’m not sure if I want to go no-holds-barred on her ass but I do want her suffer (just a little). Sadly, I rely on her to pay the other half of the rent so I need to balance everything delicately so she doesn’t move out and I’m stuck paying the rent.

On another note, my infatuation with my supplemental teacher... I will say this, he doesn’t really know I exist. I consider myself a very loud person. Who wouldn’t notice me? When I first signed up for his class I got his email address so that if I had any problems I could email him and he could help.

Yesterday we were sitting in class and one my peers asked a question from the worksheet and he was befuddled. He spent the last 10 minutes of class trying to figure out the problem. Last night I emailed him to tell him that the teacher had posted the worksheet problems on the web.

This is what I sent him.

Tanaka posted the solutions to worksheet #5 on his website: http://www.humboldt.edu/~tt22/phyx106/Check out the weight lifter problem - so you can see how easy it is and boost your busted physics-ego.

Do you see how I subtly flirted with him. Yeah, he didn’t pick it up… this is what he wrote back.

Stella, thanks so much, if I had read the problem more carefully I wouldhave seen it's ease. the key is that the net force was given, I wastrying to work the problem with the 336 newtons as just the normal forceexerted by the weightlifter. Noah.

He started talking physics to me!! I would have just been happy with a thanks. If I don’t start getting results, I might get bored with trying to impress him and my physics grade will drop.

I really don't know why but I love this picture of this cow. It makes me happy enough to put it on a t-shirt so I could enjoy it all day.

I have recently decided that I hate my roommate. She stole my cellphone (i.e. no actual evidence but all logic points toward her) and she does annoying things all the time.

1. She sings along with music. She plays sappy emo band music and I know the words by the umpteenth time the radio plays them again so I sing along to the stupid songsbecause I found that while I sing along, she stops... interesting. The pain of singing along to stupid songs is better than the pain of hearing her shrill voice sing along with the stupid songs.

2. She asks rhetorical questions. Example: I walk out of my room, decked out in my basketball shoes and workout gear along with a basketball for an accessory and she asks, "Are you going to play basketball?" Then sometimes she asks questions that I couldn't possibly understand why she would want to know the answer - (this example is general, like when I'm telling a story and she interrupts me) "Why did you do that?" I feel like responding with "Because the grass is green or Because the sky is blue." I don't know how to respond to the idiotic curiosity.

3. She doesn't know shit about common sense. Example: She told me that Helen Keller was on a coin. She waits a couple of seconds and then asks who she is? Nuf said.

I'm trying to stay away from her so that I don't get too annoyed with her. I am at a loss when I actually need to go home, because I know she's there doing nothing. What's worse is that her friends Mickey and Kory just moved in really close by and they will be over more often than I can stand. I like them because they are sincere and cool, but I don't like the idea that they like my roommate. Anybody who likes rhetoric has to be outlandishly smart (not mickey or kory) or so boringly stupid.

I have a total crush on my Physics supplemental teacher. He's probably the reason why I am passing my physics class thus far. I wouldn't try this hard unless I was trying to impress someone. He is slightly taller than I am but has a killer personality to boot. I was in the New Student Recreation Center running on a treadmill and he was lifting weights, but he doesn't look like he lifts weights: totally hot. I was going to go do some weightlifting but I didn't want to look my worst in front of him. I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend... boo hoo. I wouldn't be able to get him anyway. Although I suspect that if I were a Physics major like he is, I would prove to be smarter than him.

5 Weird things about me

1. I'm afraid to lick envelopes because I don't want a papercut on my tongue.
2. I sleep naked (because I think it makes me cleaner)
3. I consider myself highly antisocial but I have a lot of friends.
4. I've been in four car crashes (all with me in driver's seat), had my license suspended twice, one D.U.I, one M.I.P, 2 months of A.A. and 3 months of community service (all related to driving incidences) all under my belt and I'm only 21 years old. Warning: I recently just got my license back.
5. I often cry at cartoon-movies, the one I'm most ashamed of is Lilo and Stitch. When Stitch was running away and he was imitating the ugly duckling by saying "Help me." I was bawling.

I was trying to figure out ways to my my supplemental teacher fall in love with me and all I've got so far is to get skinny. I have an athletic build with fatty tissue around all the muscle. I will go on a killer diet (I would turn anorexic but quite frankly I don't have the willpower) and work out constantly. I will sacrifice good beer, pizza, and couch potato time with tv to get this man to sleep with me!

peace out yo