I make little goals for myself all the time but I forget to write them down (e.g. takeover and conquer the world, quit drinking pepsi). So then they just leave my head because more "important" stuff fills it - like chemistry and calculus crap.

However there is one goal that I will never forget. I am a biology major and had always wondered what I plan on doing with this degree once I get it. I just like science and so wanted to pursue something in that. Until last year I was lost amongst the neophyte freshmen. Now I'm up to par with my peers. I plan on taking out the Hawaiin race. I don't like Hawaii. I am determined to find the stink gene in their DNA and isolate it and find a disease to take them all out. I will also branch out into the bomb area. I will create a bomb that could withstand the temperature of lava, drop this bomb in a volcano and set it off once I am safely away back in the States.

You are probably wondering why I carry such hostility for this creatures. While living at the dorms last semester I had hawaiins living right across from me. The first week was okay - I was friends with them. They would play the ukeleli all the time... and I thought it was nice. I started hating the damn ukeleli - I couldn't sleep, eat, take a shower without hearing that damn thing! I started to hold animosity for the hawaiin freaks. They no longer were my friends and I let them know so.

I started making fun of their accents and saying "I don't speak monkey." whenever they would talk to me. I even stole the ukekeli and hid it for a week, but I don't condone stealing so I gave it back. My roommate loved those hawaiins and would imitate their accents all the time. She would start talking like them... I started hating her too.

Therefore I must stop this cycle of hawaiin-ness. It is unnatural to be that cheery all the time. These people must go away. I even warned my hawaiin neighbors of my future goal and they laughed. I told them it isn't their fault they are like that, they were just born in hawaii. Yet I will not feel pity for them. I must stay strong. I plan to implement this goal in the next 20 years.

So I haven't wrote a blog in a while because I started school this week. Man! Is it fucking ridiculous. I have so much homework already. Thats all I'll be doing for the rest of the semester. I will try to leave myself Saturday and maybe Friday open for drinking. But my teachers seem to think that I don't need to drink.

My roommate is extremely bored with the apartment. She thought that it would be a place with young people hanging out and partying but mostly it is just people who sit around and work. However there is a young man who is our neighbor whom she is crushing on right now. Last night she wanted to go over and talk to him so she begged me to borrow my broken airpump to ask him if he can fix it. I told her no because we made a bet earlier that she couldn't get his number in 2 weeks. The bet was lunch. She told me that if she gets his number in the next two weeks I don't have to buy lunch if I let her take my airpump. I said cool.

She was over there for 2 hours and talked about everything I guess. I don't have any crushes... lovers... fuckers... anybody. I have my homework and my computer Gus. I am such an alcoholic loser.

I wrote a song about my friend Mike today in Chemistry.

Mike Smells (in progress)

The reason why we invite Mike over
is because we wish for him to be our lover
We don't understand why we want that
but he is neither boring, dumb, or fat.

Don't be scared by his vegan ways
He might make a future good lay.
Also don't fear his afro-like hair
Don't say it looks stupid - it is only fair

Chorus~
Unless you can't tell
Mike has been in the room
What is that smell?
Mike, Mike, Mike!

I know it seems like hell,
the house is filled with that fume
What is that smell?
Mike, Mike, Mike!

The stench is now on my Dell
I think I've come to my doom
What is that smell?
Mike, Mike, Mike!

End Chorus~

Mike's smell is like a fog that won't leave
he seems so clean, you can believe.
He doesn't like to use shampoo
someone must tell him "That's not cool!"

Maybe its because he doesn't eat meat
and he ends up smelling like feet.
Its a fact, I can drink him under the table
if he tells you different, it's a fucking fable.

Chorus~

I think, he thinks he's smarter
well, at least I don't smell like fodder.
Please don't feel you have to diss
You won't feel that way after seeing Mike's Penis.

This will be on the third track of our first Album. My band is called The premier of Mayonaise. I am currently working on the title of the Album. Maybe somebody has a suggestion?

I like to play pranks on my friends. I like to remain anonymous and let my friends try to think of who had pranked them. Alas, they know who pulls the pranks among all their friends. Unfortunately I have been blamed for a couple of pranks that I never did: such as toilet papering one’s car – I would think my friends would know I am much more creative than that.

One of my favorite pranks was when I lived in the dorms 2 semesters ago. I had friends named “MK” and Bob. They were roommates and might I add, extremely messy. They would hold Xbox parties and play drunk Halo all night. I merely was a Halo cheerleader because I can never reach their level of hand-eye coordination. They would never clean up afterwards, so the mess gathered in piles throughout the semester. I told them many times over that they should clean up.

They were also football players and had a game far off somewhere one night so would not be able to get in before 4 am. My roommate and I broke into their room by taking off their screen and crawling in. I found the door code on the floor in the middle of the prank making it easier to come in and out of.

I cut 62 white garbage bags in half and tacked them from the ceiling to the floor as well as the entire ceiling and the entire floor. By the end of this prank all I could see was white. I have pictures (not here right now) of this half way done. I didn’t get the finishing touches because it was near 4 am and I had to get my ass out of there.

From what Bob and MK told me is that they came back tired and tore all the bags down, left them in a big ball in the middle of the room and went to bed. That ball sat there for 2 weeks before they finally took it to the trash bin. Of course, they interrogated me about it and I am such a bad liar… I think they know I did it.

This is my cousin Talon. I didn't see him fall off the bed and this was sent to me. How awful looking - I had to share it.

My dad bought me a laptop a week ago and now I'm figuring out new ways to use it for school. I am a biology major at Humboldt State University; therefore, I don't write too many papers.
My father said the only reason he bought it for me is so that I could use it for school. I hope he knows that the main reason I'm excited about it is that so I can blog everyday now!

I felt guilty so I tried to figure out other ways to help me in my classes next semester: Chemistry, Calculus, and Physics. Thats is, help me other than looking up answers to my homework questions on the internet. I found another way. I like to read the chapters in my textbooks over and over until all the information gets stuck in my head. I actually don't like to do that, but repetition is what it takes for me. I find this technique mundane, hard (those fucking books weigh 30 pounds each), and time consuming; yet it has the best results.

So for my Physics and Chemistry books everytime I read a new chapter I will read into this new microphone I bought at Staples and record it into my laptop and burn it onto cd. I'm using Musicmatch Jukebox. I can now listen to myself (I love that because I'm an egomaniac), and learn at the same time. I can learn that crap when I'm running, riding the bus, or falling asleep without having to shlep all that shit around with me! Hoorah.

For Calc, I guess I have to stick with the basics: homework.

I have a slight obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't think it is as bad as that it could hinder any relationships, my classes, or my behavior. But it does effect my friends behavior toward me. They tend to get mad at me a lot more than when they first met me.

I have wierd ideas of clean. I think that people are dirty. I don't like touching people. My friends like to hug a lot and I don't. Some of them understand and think its funny everytime I decline a hug (this also may be from my intimacy issues as well - another blog for another day). Some people are dirtier than others. My friend Elizabeth has dreadlocks and is pale-skinned. As opposed to my roommate who brushes her hair yet doesn't use soap while in the shower or brushes her teeth at night.

I have a ritual of cleaning wherever I set up camp. I create a schedule by which I must follow everyday so that I may be clean for as long as I can. If this schedule is interrupted or I miss one step then I remain dirty. I only scrub my body with a pumic stone once a week (which is okay-clean in my book). I'm not as clean as I can get, because it would take to long. I am also really lazy which conflicts with my wanting to be clean.

I think that coats are more dirty than sweatshirts because one may wash a sweatshirt more often than a coat. I don't think that strong cologne is clean because it masks people's smell. I think my bed is the cleanest thing in my room. I wash the sheets once a week and I shower everytime I go to bed. I hate it when people think they can sit on my bed and not on the chairs in my room.

How do I get my freak on, you ask? I get hella drunk. I drink so much that I can't see the floor. Then people can touch me and I can touch... their swimsuit area. The morning after I have to clean the sheets of course.

I used to wash my hands consistently with the strongest soap I could find. My dermatologist said that I do this so much I have brought out some sort of exzema. Now I have to use organic oatmeal soap. I have cut out washing my hands so much though. Whenever I get the urge to wash my hands I can't concentrate on anything else.

I have a lot more "rules" as to how people are cleaner or dirtier than others but I can't think of them right now.

Thats me with my busted lip.

Okay now I'm just going to write until this shit works. I really don't know what to do so I'll talk about my brother. He had a phone call from the Air Force today because my parents are forcing him to join. He sits around the house all day and really doesn't do any chores. I don't think he is too happy about it but what can you do... he isnt going to do anything else with his life. Whoah its his birthday today and I'm harping on him tooo bad. What a deal bum sista he got. I can't think of anything else to say I'm just filling up the space the void that is before me. I can't do anything else right now because I have a hangover. I drank only 9 beers last night you would think that I would be alright but no I ate a kit kat earlier and now I want to puke everything. I have bad diarhea right now from something I ate at a Mexican restaurant yesterday. I think this is enough shit for me to see if it works.

yo yo, this is Miss Maroo in the house. I'm just checking shit. i suck

i suck