If Art was just a big mountain of toilet paper, then...

I have to clarify before I go into this post today, that I’m not a lazy person; nor am I a dirty person. However, even I’m grossed out by my… odd laziness. I had recently run out of toilet paper. I actually had a chance to by a massive mountain of toilet paper at Costco while I was buying my rice, but it didn’t come to mind at the time. I always forget to buy some when I go out and whenever I come home ready “to make water”, I say, “Fucking Shit!” when I look at the empty toilet paper roll hanging on the side and I’m sitting helpless on the seat.

I have to do what I haven’t done since I went camping and that is called Drip Dry. A tinkle break that should have lasted less than a minute now lasts for 8 minutes while I sit on the seat and wait for the piss to drip off of me. Making grape juice out of a basket of lemons, I grab a magazine and sit the fucking procedure out. I haven’t had the unfortunate incident of needing to go #2 while I’m in my apartment – thank god I’m never here. If that should happen I would have to actually stop whatever I’m doing, get dressed (I tend to be a bit more nekkid around my apartment than in public) and drive to Safeway. That would be a bitch.

I have now made it priority numero uno to get toilet paper tomorrow when I buy my mini-wheats. I will vow to make an effort not to drip-dry in my own apartment ever again.
My brother just went to bootcamp for the Airforce in Texas. He is a 19-year-old child. He hasn’t done anything in the last 6 years that didn’t involve a computer or an RPG. He is a tall, skinny kid with no ambition or drive to do anything but sit on his ass. My step-mother just gave me his mail address today. He’s going to have the whole family writing to him, so its going to seem like he’s real popular – when really its sympathy and hope mail. Everybody’s hoping that he will make it.

I have to work tonight at 1 am and I’m not asleep… what the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I sleep on command!!?
Blah%

Why didn't anybody tell me about this cartoon

This is funny to me because I was always trying to metrosexual-up my friend and I like Ho Ho's.

Extrapilate my Colonoscopy

I just bought the first Saw movie and found out from the special features that a australian neo-director fresh from school made this movie in eighteen days. I've always thought since seeing Saw in the theater that behind the new sick ideas in the movie, that it had a profound way of dealing with people who take life for granted. I often take life for granted and get annoyed by things that I have to endure just to get by. This movie improves my days by making me strive a little further to make it somewhat better than it would have been sitting on the couch and watching the television. The screenwriter was the guy that played Adam in the movie, who is also Australian. very cool.

I am reading Cats Cradle because Kurt Vonnegot is Cory's favorite author. Cory is an awesome guy who I'm not really friends with (but don't want to be either) but has a lot of my respect. He is probably the most sincere people I've met. I like people who don't try to cheat people or lie to people for their own purposes. Anyway, the book is not interesting me... we'll see if I can make it work.

Today, I was in Costco and saw the ugliest woman I've seen in the past couple of months. She was toting a beautiful, incredibly cute, baby around with her and I didn't feel guilty about staring. How could something so adorable come out of that hideous monster. I also notice that beautiful parents can have the ugliest babies sometimes. Why is this so? Maybe I can figure it out with my Marine Biology degree somehow. I'll experiment with whales and their babies.

Complain... complain

I know that there have been some really shitty days in the past, but this day isn't shitty - its annoying. Little things are disturbing me. I woke up at 4 am this morning (hmmm, actually thats pretty good, cause I slept in) then I was rushing around the apartment trying to get to school at 6:40 so I could isolate some virgin fruit flies, while I was eating a sammitch in one hand I was looking through my notebook with the other. My notebook fell slammed into my poster I had laid on the floor and ripped a fatty hole in it. I left the notebook there with all the papers scattered. Then when I got to school I was ready to mess with some dirty flies (technically not dirty yet since they were still virgins) but there were no free vials for me to isolate them. So I just wrote on my group's communication paper that I couldn't do it.

Then after my 8am class I went to see my advisor about choosing my major and she wasn't in her office. I waited 10 minutes then decided to go downstairs to get a muffin, probably took me half a minute, then I walked back up the stairs and she was in her office with another student! I waited 20 minutes for the student to leave. By then I had finished my muffin and I wanted a soda, so I decided to walk to Forbes to get a pop out of the soda machine, and when I got to the Forbes complex, the student that was in the office with my advisor was there. She took a shorter route and must have left right after me! I got my soda and it was fucking warmer than my armpit, then went back to her office. She had put a sign up that said Be Right Back. I left to chat with some people then went back 5 min before my next class and the sign was still up... she forgot to take the bitch down. I told her I had to make it quick and said I wanted to choose an emphasis for my biology major. She told me that I neeced to fill some forms out for her and have her sign them so I could get a different advisor. The secretary didn't have any forms. I know there is an entire continent of people starving in this world and I should feel grateful for having this little problems because it could always be worse but I can't help it.

Now I need to work on my math homework online, but this specific computer won't download it from moodle so I have to wait for the lab to get out at 12. I hate having to wait with nothing to do. Makes me feel useless because there are times in the day where I'm really stressed out and if I could somehow make those times less stressful by doing work when I have downtime, I would.

I ran a mile yesterday - pathetic, but it was a nice attempt at a healthy body. I will try to do 2 tomorrow.

In other words, Nothing happened

My roommate finally gave me my half of the deposit, she gave me a check and changed the total on the check and put her initials by it. I didn’t think that would fly with the tellers at my bank so I went to her bank so they could call her if any shit went down at the bank. I walked in to Washington Mutual and the lady teller was really nice to me then she handed back the check and said she had written down January 20, but for 2005 and they can’t cash checks after 6 months. She said I can’t change it only my roommate can change it, so I should find her and ask her to make the 5 into a 6. I smiled and walked out to the ice cream shop next door; got back in line at Washington mutual with a changed 5 into a six and Maple Nut ice cream waffle cone in my hand and cashed my check. I thought that was the funniest thing that happened that day. I couldn’t help but chortle into my waffle cone when the lady teller looked at me.

Classes are getting to me. I had a quiz in lab and I studied the whole fucking time at work for two days and that quiz kicked my ass! I think I may have gotten the lowest score. I have a test in Physics next week on Thursday and I need to cry already. I’m so greasy. I’m going to take a shower.

The dreaded Day of School

I went to work Monday evening/Tuesday morning and talked to my coworker who informed me that school started on the 17th and not the 23rd! I was freaking out. I had stuff to do this week and now it was taken away by school.

I hadn't planned on going to school on Tuesday when I went to sleep on Monday, so I was extremely tired on Tuesday. I woke up 8pm on Monday and stayed up till 7pm on Tuesday because of my last class. I'm surprised I didn't start crying (the unusual emotions torrent out of me when I'm tired). My physics class seems like it is going to be the most fun, it was too bad that I almost passed out from exhaustion. His lecture would have been interesting had I have gotten more sleep.

All the other classes seem like they are going to be strenuous and boring. Not a great combination.

Toodles

A tale of two species

About a month ago, when I was still living at my other apartment and with Tardo, my roommate went to her hometown for a weekend and I stayed at the apartment. When she left I watched a great deal of tele, because I knew that she wouldn’t be around to bother me. When I watched the glorious box-of-love I also watched a somewhat big spider crawl around on the wall behind the tele. I could see no great web which the rotund spidey would call home, but she (assuming it is a she because I wanted to believe she hatched eggs somewhere in my roommates closet – perhaps one of her hoodies or panties) would absently sprint about the white wall from hanging clock to thermostat to the great unknown space behind the television tower. And without delay, every time I would sit on the couch this daunting black spot would make its way around on the wall, giving me something else to watch while commercials were on. I told the spider, “You better enjoy your life girlie, because if Tardo were here she would smash you without thinking twice. In fact you better find a place to hide before she gets back.”

When Tardo returned I was in such shambles about her reoccurrence, that I forgot about my small but dear friend whom kept me company when I needed it.

A couple of days later, I sat on the couch after my hiatus of tele-watching (indeed Tardo did put a damper on my fun time with my boob-tube) my roommate sat beside me and was watching it with me. After a small silence that we embrace so much together, she asked me, “Did you see that huge spider on the wall over there?” The first thought that occurred to me was “How could she be so certain that I had seen a spider and on that specific wall? I had known many a spiders who never really stayed in one place without a web.” The second thought that occurred to me was, “Aw shit, she killed it.” So I asked without answering her question, “Did you kill it?” She answered yes but was about to go into a preamble of hatred-for-spiders when I interrupted her by yelling/screaming “You killed Fluffy!!!!” Then proceeded to wail incoherently. She merely laughed at my expense and when the sobbing on my part stopped we went back into our embraceable silence.

Fuck this life

I just bought a guitar and a dvd to teach me how to play it. I bought it so that I could learn a musical instrument that I may be able to play and fiddle with when I'm bored. I tested and the notes didn't come to me as obvious as a piano so I think that string instruments aren't my forte. I have to work on it. I'll update on how I progress. Hopefully I will know a song before school starts.

I kind of stopped smoking. I say kinda because I'm not sure if I have the will power to continue. the only reason why I stopped is because I plan on working out more often now than in the past. So the quitting-the-smoking bit relys heavily on me making an effort to workout. I started about a week ago to do something about all the stress I was having and now that the stress is over I figure I have to quit. Two days ago I lit up a ciggi and I actually enjoyed it that time. The week before that I was smoking, I didn't really enjoy it because I felt like my lungs were dying and I smelled. The alarm bell rings in your head that your addicted when you actually get over the feeling that your lungs are dying and you don't mind your ciggi smell. So yeah, its been two days and I only think about it when I'm having trouble at work and need a break from assholes.

Yesterday at work, I started my shift at 4:30 and not even 5 minues later this little punks started bugging me to get on the roof to get their mitt that one of them "accidentally" threw up there. I said, "No freaking way am I getting up on that slippery roof - I could die!" and then a kid asked me if he could do it. I said, "I can't allow that. What if you get up there and you slip and fall, break your neck. Then I have the problem of where to hide the body." The kids either didn't get my joke or they didn't think that it was that funny. I was like, what the hell, you people are dealing with quick wit and don't realize it. So I stopped being the caring person I am and told them to beat it.

I have so many things to do, but I'm never awake during the day to do them. I have to call PG&E, cable company and various other organizations. I have to buy books, groceries, and various other products. But the stores don't seem to want to stay open after 5 pm. What a bitch! Now I will pout, drink a beer, and watch Fantastic Four before I have to go to work tonight at 1 am.

toodles, vast and enormous world wide web

Get me a Juice Box, Beeotch

10 cool points awarded to the loser who also watched this movie.

I noticed in my last post that I didn't say how fucked up I got at my friend Cory's apartment after I had brought everything into my apartment. In order to initiate an apartment, one was to get totally wasted inside of it. Unfortunately I did the drinking elsewhere (so my apartment is still a virgin), but apparently I woke up around 3pm to someone knocking on my door. I was surprised to find me asleep in my own bed - because I don't even remembering driving home and because the bed was made with me in it. I put my pants on and decided to see if my car was parked okay. As soon as I walked out of my bedroom I noticed my couch was right in front of the door. And a light fixture was only hanging by the wire in the kitchen, which wasn't the previous day. Also, the clothes I hadn't unpacked the night before were spread out all over the living room. But the most fucked up puzzle is that my underwear were on backwards... except for those, I was nekkid. Understand, when I black out - I fucking black out.

So my apartment is still a virgin because no drinking was initiated in her, but I did do some fucked up things inside of her to merit 3rd base.

Today I did some more rearranging and no matter how much I move my shit around, the apartment still looks hella empty. I have to buy more crap so I don't feel so lonely. After organizing I pumped my big blue ball full of air my mom gave me for christmas along with a blue rubber band to inspire me to become more fit. I gotta say, that fucking bitch took an hour to fill with air. It was a workout just to blow it up.

Now I'm relaxing by drinking me heinekin and watching After the Sunset. Bloody funny movie so far.

Problems that I Endure

I just moved into my apartment. I moved in yesterday but with all the stress I have been having lately as soon as I brought all the boxes into the apartment I went to my friend Cory's place and got smashed while watching the movie Memento. I unpacked today. I didn't take that long because all I have to unpack is clothes.
When I was moving out of my last apartment I was putting all my stuff into my mom's garage which is two hours away and I broke down at 2 in the morning and hitchhiked back to the apartment. Since humboldt county had this huge storm that lasted for a couple of days, power has been out everywhere. I didn't have any food in the cupboards and nothing within walking distance was open, because of the power outtage. So I didn't really eat or shower for a week. Power was out for New Years as well - put a bit of a damper on the fun-loving hoodlums for this year.
While I was moving out of the apartment yesterday, this neighbor guy who is my eye-candy finally introduced himself. We knew eachother from taking a class together but never actually talked that much. I felt a little awkward because the boy likes to walk around naked after a shower and on some nights I get a full view of his front naked body. I watch a little but then I feel like in order to keep watching I should purchase some binoculars or something. He invited me to 6 Rivers Brew that night but I didn't feel like meeting up with him. Owell, no more eye candy.
I was pretty stoked about unpacking because I believed that after all of it I would watch a movie, but somewhere in the middle of packing I must have lost some cables and couldn't watch any movie tonight. I suppose I could use my laptop but thats no fun.
My apartment is empty and bare so tomorrow I'm going to pick up grammy and go secondhand shopping. It'll be awesome.
I'm not really in the typing mood so I will stop here tonight and read my book.