25 minutes

I'm in the library right now and I'm sitting across from this guy I used to be chummy with. He's actually on a couch against the wall. We don't say hi to each other any more because I figured he stopped being friends with me. Now he just laid down to take a nap I guess. I wish I could take a picture - he's pretty hot. Ah, but alas, are personalities do not mesh at all. I'm spastic with a hint of snobby, while he is cool and composed snobby. Enough about the man in blue.

I just applied for a credit card to see if I could build my credit, I don't think that its going to work out. Citi didn't approve me. ME! The goddess of goodness, the sweet serenity of silence held back by having no credit. But I applied with U.S. which I have had a checking account with forever.

My mother also made a proposal. I could pay off her loan for my car by taking dear old grandmother out for shopping and lunch every Thursday. That ought to be fun, since we have nothing to talk about... and she is a pathalogical cussing bigot. She still says chinks and spics. I have to converse with her for a couple of hours too. I'll have to update you on the awkwardness of that train wreck.

I refuse to get a MySpace page. Everybody has one, but I will wholeheartedly deny the existence of such a plague against the human mind. It teaches people arrogance. I prefer to learn arrogance the old fashioned way - hard work to make yourself better than everyone else. MySpace makes it too easy for people to amp themselves up, they also get to talk about themselves and know that all their other friends who have MySpace pages will visit their page because they are obligated too. I know what your thinking whats the difference between this and MySpace. Plenty! This blog lets me elaborate my supreme knowledge and opinions without making people listen to them. I really don't think anybody reads my stupid shit (which is comforting in a way because I've a few drunken blog nights), but it allows random people to admire my genius. I tickle myself.

So I set a goal to write for 25 minutes everyday and its only been 12... I really don't have anything else to say. The late companion in blue has just put both his hands under his head like a pillow - god how freakin' adorable. I wish I could cuddle with him without involving any emotional funk into it. Opposed to most people's beliefs, sex and cuddling doesn't have anythingn to do with my feelings toward them. I could have mind-blowing sex with a guy who I dislike very much and then cuddle with him afterward, but my feelings wouldn't change toward him. He would still be the inconsiderate, weak-minded pervert all the other girls fall for. I would enjoy his finer qualities of good looks. However, some guys feel that I should at least be nice to them! What the fuck? I have to nice to you just because I have sex with you.

I also hold the opinion that sex is more fun if you don't like the person. Then you get all rough with them because you don't care, and then they think "Oh you want to play that game, huh?" And they start to throw you around too. Awesome.

Diet Pepsi: My crack to stay awake.

Actually pepsi doesn't do any good to keep me alert when I'm tired. I drink pepsi at work so that I could stay awake, mostly it just makes me a walking zombie. Setting the scene: Lady security guard's hair in dissaray, rain falling all over her clothes and face, running mascara, walking through the breezeways of elder tenants at 3 am. Who wouldn't be scared of that thing?

I watched the movie Zathura on Sunday (of course the matinee, why pay more just to see it later in the day?). Positively the best line in the movie was delivered by a 4th grade smart-ass kid to his defective robot, “Get me a juice box, biatch.” I have a couple of questions about the plot however. The astronaut is the 4th grade boy, who was trapped inside the game because he couldn’t finish it without his brother. Questions pursue: After figuring out he was doomed to be lost in the universe, how did the 4th grader figure out how to be an astronaut? Since the sister was upstairs in the house, was she trapped in the game as well? If so, what happened to her in the 15 years that passed with them lost in the universe?

The reason why I wanted to go to this movie is because I enjoyed Jumanji (same creators of Zathura) when I was a kid and thought I would of this movie too. The subject I was interested in was the game and what things could come out of it. The game Zathura didn’t seem to have as many adventures as Jumanji.

I told my roommate that I was going to move out in December. She said okay. I haven't felt such glory in a long time. I will be liberated from Tardo for good! I thought that until tonight. I never see her anywhere else except for at the apartment. Today I was walking toward the depot to get a pizza and she walked out of it. Tonight I was enjoying a brilliant episode of NCIS and she walked into the apartment. I knew that I had to leave right after. I went to the campus library, she walks in ten minutes later. It never occurred to me that I would have to see her at school. I am considering transfering to University of Washington... okay not really.

Why can't she die?

Conan O'Brian's underpants

I was thinking of a good screenplay for a movie about… never mind I don’t want somebody to steal it. Anyway I was thinking of immortality. Or how my mortality should be appreciated. This person in my story is immortal (again, not revealing how) and he/she is describing his/her how immortality is very boring to them. At first they chose immortality because of their love for life; they wanted to live forever so that they could have they would never have to die and be without the enjoyment of life. But they realized that life is only enjoyable when there is a risk for losing it. For example, why do people scream and laugh while riding a roller coaster? People have a gut instinct that they could possibly lose what is most dearest, but the laughter follows because the ride is fully equipped and designed to keep people safe. When a person has achieved immortality they no longer fear the loss of life. They can do anything dangerous that would meet their fancy, but there is no excitement in danger anymore. Excitement cannot be reached by people who do not value their life or don’t have to care about danger. If a person can’t get excited then they undoubtedly would inevitably become depressed.

I had to drive to Washington yesterday from Northern California and it takes 12 hours. I was ready for the big drive with my junk food in stock in the backseat and my fat-as-hell 12 pound, cd case sitting in the passenger seat. I just had a lot of time to think. Usually I enjoy the drive because it allows my mind to enter zen and I can sort out whatever problems I have. That wasn’t the case because I didn’t have anything to think about. What the hell is up with that? So most of the time I focused on my script (its still not on paper – yep in the noggen).

Totally the word of the day:

OBSTREPEROUS.

It means marked by unruly or aggressive noisiness.

This is my apartment when I'm trying to sleep. I'm spray painting this word all over the living room walls. Then my roommate will say (*whiney voice) "I'm confused."

I wish I could get Measles

I need to sign up for classes for next semester; I'm taking Biology 105, Botany, Physics, and Biometrics. However, since I haven't turned in my vaccination record I can't sign up for classes yet. I need to get that information from my dad, or I wont' get the classes that I need. I'll end up taking swimming, fencing and yoga - hey not a bad idea.

I went almost a whole week without talking to Tardo, but I was bound to see her sometime. I was in the library yesterday and she came out of the computer lab and I felt obligated to wave to her. I need to stay nice to her so that she won't stiff me with rent. I go to sleep incredibly early at nights; yet, doesn't really hinder my socializing. I will play volleyball tonight because now I don't have a convenient excuse like my mother coming in to town. But I will stay at school afterward to work on homework.

I recently got a 75 on a chemistry test. I just took a physics test and I think that went smashing - but I've felt that way before and had been greatly dissapointed. I'll find out after Thanksgiving break.

My fucking car is fucked up. The radiator is leaking and so I took it to this great place to fix it up and the least amount of money it is going to cost me to fix it up is 400 dollars. Argh! said the pirate inside me. Plus, I won't get it until next week; which means I will have to walk to work and back (takes an hour) 4 times. Thats 8 hours of walking!! I'm going to die. On top of all that, I can't go home because the cars in the shop and I would have to drive all the way to Washington... not happening with this junk with wheels.

It may work out in the end... I'm not that optimistic but I like to keep hope that I can escape the white bullshit with annoying voices - my apartment.

Oh, I also want to start a business: a video rental store. Sounds fun doesn't it. I calculated the fucker out though, it would cost thousands and thousands of dollars to get the movies I would want for my video store! I will have a small selection of my favorites - then buy new movies every week. Yay, I'll look it up.

Bittersweet Revenge

Since my roommate pissed me off I decided two seconds after her and her asians woke me up that I wouldn't go to volleyball. I left pissed and totally up for keying her car. Instead I went to the library and read. I got over being mad at her yesterday and talked myself into going to volleyball and put up with her annoying personality and the asians. However, my mom wrote me and said that she was coming down to take grandma christmas shopping. I jumped on that train.

So yesterday as we all ate Chinese food, my team was looking around asking where I was. I felt guilty, not because I let retarded people down, but because I made a commitment to do something and I deliberatly didn't do it. I know that Tardo told everyone that I was mad at her (*in whiney voice) "for some reason, like, I don't know why. I'm so confused." and the reason why I skipped out was because I was mad at her. Which was the initial reason, but wasn't the final. I got home around 10 and dropped off my groceries and then left again. I woke up this morning and Tardo had spent the night at her drunk friends apartments across the way.

She came back this morning and took a shower. While she was in the shower, I bolted out. I would rather not talk to her, because she'll ask where I was and why I wasn't there and I'll be tempted to say something smartass and she'll get all sensitive and ask to get seperate living conditions. Which would make me totally happy, but I just got this job and can't afford it right now.

So that was my revenge - not playing volleyball. I'm not that good at this game - oo! but I'm also leaving my garbage around the apartment like she so often does. I'm not there that much so it doesn't matter to me.

Why Can't She Die

I wish very much for my roommate to have a very troubling death. I want somebody to poison her so that she gets the worst diarhea known in history (although it will last 2 days) and then her insides will shrivel from dehydration upon her death.

Last night I was extremely tired - I told her that as well as I was going to bed after physics. I fell into a nice slumber at 5 and was awake at 7 to hear her throw a party in our living room. I heard her and her friends drinking and playing cards. I could her every whiney syllable drip out of her fucking mouth. I decided after an hour of trying, that I couldn't fall asleep to them and so I got dressed and left with my backpack. I will thank my parents soon for helping me with a car so that I could leave my horrible apartment. I need her to die so that I can be happy while I sleep.

I went to the university's gym and ran for an hour - I was thinking of kicking in her ugly face the whole time, so only after 45 minutes of intense running did I realize my smoker's lungs were having a hard time with my brain's physical expectations. Afterward, I enjoyed some tacos from taco bell, only to realize I don't have any money until I get paid on the 15th. I blame her for her encouragment to stay away from the apartment by use of my car; therefore, diminishing my gas money.

I have nicknamed her tardo. Because she is retarded. I will not call her this to her face, because she is sensitive and will leave the apartment, sticking me with another 400 for rent. I will be the one that is sticking someone with half rent. I really want to put sugar in tardo's gas tank, but I'm afraid of getting caught. That is a felony and I don't have one of those under my belt, nor do I want one.

This morning I had to wake up to her talking on her cellphone in that girlish valley accent with whine. I stayed in my room so that I wouldn't have to talk to her. I missed chemistry because I stayed in my room - I blame tardo for my bad grade in chemistry.

I have to stay in the library tonight, pretending to study chemistry so that I don't have to see her at the apartment (hell with white walls).

I think this picture gives you an excellent view of my double chin. I only made this one purple as well because I thought it worked well with my most current blog color scheme.

I have a new job. I work security at a low-income apartment complex. I'm not actually a security guard - I walk around, in my own clothes with no weapon, and watch. I'm a watchman. Right now I work 4:30 to 1 am Fridays and Saturdays then 1am to 8am Monday and Tuesday mornings. I am so dead tired of being sleepy all the time. I don't even look cool anymore.

I'm not falling behind on homework just yet... but I feel that I'm going to. Tonight I get to sleep in though. I already feel the want of slacking in my chemistry lab. My past 2 lab reports were incredibly sloppy - I kiss ass very well though so its all good.

I have great ambition besides all my classes, homework, and work hours. For some reason I think that I have time to learn how to play a guitar. I want to try to add 300 more points to my name in my cool book - right now I'm at an all time low of 780 pts because I dress so sloppy for school and I'm bitchy to everybody (even pretty boys).

I got an 89 Honda Prelude with 180,000 miles on it for 2,000 dollars. I feel like I got a bum deal but its better than walking an hour to work in the rain 4 nights out of the week. I still have yet to name her... Since I don't like her all too much, I'm going to name her after this crazy 90-year-old schizo lady that came into Subway over the summer. Her name was Charlotte and I think that its fitting: she's old, car's old; she's ugly, car's ugly; to get her to go you shove a stick around in her body... you get the picture.

I think that I'm going to start another blog, but soley for my benefit. I need to clear up my short term goal list and I've been told that a blog help keeps you on the ball. Right now my plan for all 5 goals haven't been in effect. I'm not working out (I get 2 hours sleep a night, whaddyu want from me), I drink massive amounts of pepsi just to stay awake, I skip chemistry so often cute wouldn't recognize me anymore, and I forgot the other goal. Since I got a car I could cross that off the list and put in something else... not sure what just yet but I'll think of something.

Now I am off to try to focus on chemistry homework. I hope I don't fall asleep and slam my head into my laptop, exploding a million microchips in the air causing wide spread panic amongst the other library patrons sitting near by. Just kidding, my chemsitry text book would be the thing slamming into my laptop.